Tim Hackshaw – MaB, ThA 68-75

Submitted by Stephen Hackshaw

It’s strange, isn’t it? We often pigeonhole our parents, seeing only one side of them, without fully appreciating who they really are. Sadly, it’s often only when life is turned upside down that we pause and take in the whole person. So, I’d like to try and speak about the whole person today. Over the past few weeks, the hundreds of cards, messages, photos, and stories we’ve received have shown us just how much dad meant to so many people in different areas of life. It’s been both humbling and incredibly comforting for us as a family.

Sport
As we’ve already heard, one important area of dad’s life was sport. Playing multiple sports is one thing, but to do so at higher levels than most is truly impressive. What I’ve come to realise is that dad excelled in team sports in particular. Football, cricket, rugby—of course. But even in tennis and golf, dad preferred partnering up rather than playing a solo game.

Reading the accounts and stories people have shared over the past few weeks, it’s clear that dad was very much a people person—not in a superficial way, but with genuine concern and interest in others.

Here are some of the words and phrases that have been used to describe dad: encouraging, supportive, kind, generous, always made people feel welcome, enthusiastic—even when a game was lost, determined, focused on the field, loyal, patient, honourable, unflappable, and a total legend.

It’s clear from these descriptions that dad invested in other people, often putting them first. Even after receiving the worst news about his condition, his thoughts immediately turned to others. His first request regarding today was to ensure the funeral took place here in Guildford, making it easier for those travelling from further afield. That level of selflessness is truly remarkable.

Work and People
In his career, dad’s people-focused approach earned him admiration and respect. He knew how to get the best out of people, ensuring his team members felt valued and their contributions mattered. People respected him not because he sought recognition but because of the genuine care he showed for those around him.

This same care extended to all aspects of his life. Dad loved travelling, not just for the sights but for the adventure and connections. He loved meeting new people, learning about their experiences, and forming friendships—often with complete strangers he met on holiday! Dad had a natural ability to connect with people and make friends effortlessly—something that, as an introvert myself, I always found perplexing! But it wasn’t just that he made friends easily; he valued and nurtured those friendships. Many of you here today are a testament to that.

Parenting
Losing his own father so young, dad didn’t have a blueprint for fatherhood, but one of his fundamental missions in life was to be the best dad he could be. Stuart and I owe so much to his and mum’s parenting. Dad was encouraging, supportive, and firm, setting clear boundaries while giving us room to grow. He showed us the value of hard work, resilience, and curiosity that allowed us to flourish at school and beyond. Sadly, I see firsthand in my work as a secondary school leader that this type of parenting isn’t always the norm.

Family holidays stand out as a huge part of our upbringing. Dad was committed to showing us the world, creating shared experiences that shaped who we are. His focus on family and giving us a strong foundation is something I know Stuart and I will always cherish.

Light-hearted bit
That’s not to say dad was perfect. If I’m being faithful to the mission of speaking about the whole man, I have to admit that some of the words people have used to describe him have made us chuckle. “Patient” and “unflappable” are not the first words that come to mind if you’ve ever had the pleasure of being a passenger in a car with dad behind the wheel—or when things weren’t going quite so well on the golf course! — or when attempting a bit of DIY around the house!

Closing
As a family, we’ve deeply appreciated the support people have shown over the past few years as dad battled cancer. It’s been incredibly comforting to know he had so many special and long-lasting friendships that meant so much to him.

So, the checklist of Dad’s mission objectives could be summed up like this:

• Be a loving father and husband – nailed it.
• Recognise the importance of teamwork – absolutely
• Brighten the lives of others wherever possible – definitely.
• Experience, explore, and enjoy the fullness of life – check.

For mum, dad was not only her love and husband but also her best friend and partner in life’s adventures. He has left us far too soon, but his love, kindness, and spirit will remain with us always. To dad, to Hackers—we miss you, we thank you.